Eulogy for Beryl Joan Waters - 4th April 1921 to 24th December 2020

All of us here today, either in person or joining remotely in your homes across the world, have been greatly blessed by being part of Beryl’s well lived and remarkable life.

Beryl, known to many of us as simply ‘BJ’ was the very essence of compassion, kindness, love and trustworthiness. Her strength of character, boundless energy, which at times she could barely contain, infinite sense of humour combined with her methodical attention to detail were legendary.   

I'm sure none of you will be surprised to know that what I am recounting today is predominately based on Beryl’s personal reflections of her 99 years that she wished to share with you all. In fact, Beryl has specifically requested that we enjoy listening to her reflections with much laugher and joy in our hearts.  

Beryl Joan Baker was born in Ealing, West London on 4th April 1921, into a loving family and was the 4th child of Fredrick and Georgina Baker. She had 2 older brothers Stan and Fred, an older sister Peggy and a younger brother Perry.

Beryl’s early years were spent living in Sunbury on Thames where she attended the School of St Theresa’s Convent until the age of 16. She frequently reminisced about enjoying her school days, particularly the environment of the Convent and the nuns’ kindness. It was here at the young age of 8 that she made a personal vow to be open minded towards spirituality and religion, a value that transcended her life and will be reflected today by her great friend Ken Smith.

After leaving school, Beryl moved with her parents to Great Baddow near Chelmsford where she trained as a secretary at Braintree Tutorial College. By her own assessment 'she was excellent at typing, loved book-keeping, but awful at shorthand.'  Despite this, her father, who was known to many of you, organised her first job as a shorthand typist with Essex County Council.  She definitely did not enjoy this job so left as soon as possible preferring to work in kennels in Braintree looking after dogs and puppies. Was this the start of her life-long love of border collies?

Beryl frequently recalled adoring this job which unfortunately came to an abrupt end as a result of her father driving past with his staff of auditors and accountants and seeing her selling puppies in the ‘gutter of Romford Market’ to use her own words. Obviously, this was not the career he had in mind for his daughter.
So, Beryl found herself a position as a ledger clerk at Barclays Bank which she loved. When the Second World war broke out, some of her duties included fire watching at night at the Bank. During this period of her life she would often recall her experiences of taking shelter during bomb raids and hiding in the ditches of a golf course when planes were fighting above.

During the war Beryl was also drafted into the Land Army. She often said 'I loved this time working on the farms until they wanted to send me to a farm where the farmer wanted me to hedge and ditch and only milk the cows once a week. I was a trained Dairy Maid not a hedge and ditch worker and refused to work there. So, I rebelled and got chucked out of the Land Army. I was on my own after that -a blessing in disguise - I could now look for a job myself, not obey orders or go where the land army bosses said.’ A hint to her temperament perhaps?

Beryl also recalled applying for numerous jobs and seems to have been always offered an interview, but often wouldn't then turn up. However, she clearly did for one since she was appointed to the role of Farm Secretary for the Duke of Bedford at Woburn Abbey, a position she loved.  

Looking for another direction in life, the reason still being a mystery, Beryl moved to Suffolk in 1948 as the Secretary to Squire John Holt Wilson and Mr Tom Horsfall at Hinderclay Hall. Her memories of this time included arriving at Diss station and being picked up by Derek Wilby, feeling overwhelmed by the extraordinary amount of mud in this part of the world and meeting and forming a lifelong friendship with Ruth Powell the daughter of Tom Horsfall. Ruth's memories of her great friend and trusted confidant are of extraordinary times of laughter.

She thoroughly enjoyed this job and often recounted that one of her first tasks was to individually reply to the hundreds of people expressing condolences following the tragic fatal accident of Tom's brother Jock Horsfall, the famous racing driver and war time secret agent involved in Operation Mincemeat. The Horsfall family had owned Cliff House in Dunwich, and that may possibly be a reason why Beryl so enjoyed visiting this coastline. At Hinderclay Hall, she met Arthur who worked on the Squire's farm managing the many pigs and he and Beryl married at Redgrave Church in August 1950, initially living at Street Farm Botesdale.

It was in April 1951 that Beryl first met and then formed a close lifelong friendship with Jean Bennett who had just had her first son Simon. Jean, who is now in her nineties, has remained very close and dear to Beryl, both always supporting each other in times of need.  
Beryl’s first son Peter was born a few months later in June 1951 and in 1952, prior to her second son John being born, she and Arthur were fortunate to purchase and renovate Lone Pine in Cherry Tree Lane. She knew this was to become her home at first sight, which it did for 60 years. Beryl had a third son Andrew in 1954 and finally in 1957 her lovely daughter Christine arrived. She often recalled 'I always wanted a daughter, but it kept being boys.’

The friendship with the Bennett and Simonds family became stronger as the children grew up and the two families had many happy holidays together at Hemsby on the Norfolk Coast and much later in life Beryl and Jean shared regular camping holidays including touring up to Scotland. This family friendship continues on to this day.

The 1960s were very challenging times for Beryl and her husband as they both suffered from health-related problems. This was compounded by the sudden death of her mother in 1963 followed by her husband’s Arthur’s death in December 1967 after 17 years of marriage. She frequently said ‘I never wanted to remarry preferring to put my own children first.’ She also recalled this as being a time of placing her faith truly in God to provide for her and her family. Despite these challenges it was during these years that Beryl opened up her home to individuals who were marginalised within society.

Employment-wise during the 1960’s Beryl worked briefly for a travel agency as well as for Elizabeth Craig, the Delia Smith of her time. This was followed by being appointed as Secretary for Ixworth Secondary School, a position she stayed in for the next 25 years. She really enjoyed this role and here met her great friend Ken Smith when he arrived there as a young teacher. This friendship continued even following her retirement in the mid 1980s. More recently Beryl so appreciated Ken's weekly visits at Walcot Hall enjoying their conversations reminiscing not only about the past but being kept abreast with village news.

On retiring from Ixworth School she continued to work for a short period undertaking some secretarial work at Simonds Garage when it was based in Botesdale. There was no doubt Beryl was not going to take things easy in retirement and so continued being extremely active in village life up until her early 90s. In fact, it was frequently tricky at times for her family to keep up with her antics during her retirement years.

Her contributions to both the community and church throughout her life were remarkable. Some examples include being a Girl Guides’ Captain, Treasurer of Rickinghall and Redgrave Parish Councils, facilitating numerous choirs, Treasurer of the ‘Forget Me Not’ Club which had been founded by her mother Georgina, and taking on Church Warden responsibilities at the age of 90. As you know she was the organist of the various churches of the parish including this church in Rickinghall. Indeed, she has specifically requested that her gravestone reflects her being the organist here for more than 50 years.

Furthermore, Beryl was fortunate to possess many talents. Apart from being self-taught on the piano and organ, she had a lifelong love for art as well as music. Her attributes ranged from composing music for the piano to singing, painting, drawing and upholstery. Unsurprisingly, given her career she was also known for her attention to detail in accountancy and event planning. Every bit of her funeral today down to the last detail was planned several years in advance and changed on numerous occasions, but even Beryl didn’t foresee the impact of Covid-19. She did, however, have the foresight to make a recording of her life on the last day before lockdown in March 2020.

Beryl valued her loving relationship with her family. She deeply loved her father who taught her many skills in life including accountancy. Her father moved to Lone Pine following the death of his wife and he remained there until he passed in 1981 at the grand age of 102. Similar to her father, Beryl remained very active in everyday life including driving until well over the age of 90. Her driving was however very different to her father's since she relied heavily in divine intervention to prevent accidents. Instead of taking one hand off the steering wheel to wave to somebody she knew, she would usually take both hands off. She also had a tendency to come out of road junction's with only a fleeting glance to see whether any traffic was coming saying ‘the Good Lord is looking after me’ – which fortunately he did on multiple occasions.   

Beryl was very close to all her family. She was fortunate to have two sons living with her once widowed, Andrew even setting up home with Julia in what was once part of Lone Pine’s garden. The support they both provided John and Beryl for many years was immense.  Beryl particularly enjoyed having a close relationship with her grandchildren Nicholas, Johanna, Christina and Natalie, and her great grandchildren. It was only a few days before her death that her fourth great grandchild Jessica Joan was born. On hearing this news, she said 'wonderful, wonderful.'

Beryl also valued a very close relationship with her nieces Carol and Jenny. Every year they would make the journey up from Devon to visit Auntie Beryl around her birthday. She used to say she thoroughly enjoyed their company because they were such fun and shared the same humour and similar thoughts regarding spirituality. She valued keeping in close touch with them by letter, phone and later by Zoom or Face Time.

In 2011, she reached the grand age of 90. Initially she said to her family ‘I do not want to have a party, or anything organised – I just want a small family affair’. However, in true Beryl fashion she suddenly changed her mind and the next thing we heard she had organised a party and had invited 180 guests. The highlight of the party was when she started to give a speech and said to the everyone “I have played for so many funerals and heard so many people deliver eulogies which the deceased person could not hear”. She then added “I am going to be different. I’m going to tell you personally about my life and how I lived it and take the opportunity to thank the many people in advance”!  She then 9 years later wrote the blueprint for these reflections.

2012 sadly saw a downturn in Beryl’s and her son John’s health. When John suddenly died, she felt she could no longer live in Lone Pine by herself and after a prolonged illness moved to Fornham House Care Home near Bury St Edmunds. She admitted that old age had finally caught up with her. Whilst she enjoyed her time in Fornham House, she was pleased when she moved closer to Botesdale choosing to move to Walcot Hall nursing home in 2016. She was very happy at Walcot, and every time you met her, she would say how pleased she was about her room and the view of the surrounding fields, the pond and the old oak tree. She also talked a lot about the activity classes arranged by Walcot and one of her favourite activities was gardening.

Whilst Beryl lived in a care home for the last 8 years, she really enjoyed coming home each weekend to enjoy family life, family conversations and family meals reminiscing over fun times. A special part of most weekends was the time she spent with Jean Bennett sharing old stories, playing Rummikub and listening to Songs of Praise. She also particularly enjoyed the long drives Andrew used to take her on through the Suffolk countryside remembering places and the 60 years she had in Botesdale.

Unfortunately, the impact of COVID-19 and the restrictions on care homes meant the last few months of her life were more challenging. Like most residents, she understood the need for restrictions but missed coming home and the regular visits from friends and family. She greatly appreciated the support she received from both her family and friends including Jean, Ken, Maurice, Janie and Alf who are here today and Claire, Carol and Jenny who are with us remotely.

In her final weeks, her children were able to once again enjoy many hours with their mother during which she retained her wonderfully mischievous sense of humour accompanied by a wink and a giggle.

Whilst the Covid pandemic has restricted the number of people attending today, it is testimony to Beryl to hear the number of lovely comments and fond memories people have said about her. Hopefully, when the summer comes and the current restrictions are eased, we will be able to have a memorial service and afternoon tea where we can celebrate her life in the way she planned.

Beryl has requested that we pledge to ourselves to remember her with immense joy and laugher. She was particularly fond of the following phase “Why should I be out of mind because I’m out of sight. Remember I am only a thought away'. Her parting words were always 'God bless' accompanied by her double handed wave.

We will all miss you Beryl - more than words can say.  Your legacy and sparkle for life will live on across the generations of your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and your dear friends.  

God bless BJ